love letter

 Love of my life..
 
 I no longer want to be loved childishly. I want to be loved with the strength and charm of maturity. I don't want to be smothered by the fear of jealousy and insecurities. I don't want a relationship based solely upon shutting the world out and locking each other in. I want to be somewhere where I can breathe....even in the midst of a million heartbeats surrounding me, I can still know the sound, even play the tune, or nod my head to the rhythm of the one I call home.
 You are my home, no matter the distance I know I'm never alone.
 I'm at the stage that I have realized I don't need you to survive because I'm whole without you, but I want you , with me, as my partner. Sharing that kinda love that helps the other grow.
 You truly are the love of my life, you have made me realize how it's like to wake up being in love and loved by you. I'm always looking forward to our lil chats and those random serious convos when I get to pick your brain because my word the way you think at times....it's a turn on. And I wouldn't want to change a thing!
 I love you and forever..

You asked for it

Thre must be so much that I can pick on. Mybe one topic at a time or maybe the entire lot all at once maybe I can sadistically focus all my strength  on the upcoming elections. Then  go   on  and  on (nd on)about how stupid and incapable I think that heavily  obese, gold    tooth     bearing suit flaunting  idiot  politician   anoyyed me when he asked if I voted. I could perhaps pick on the tiny little fact that it would seem the whole world ( mine in general) has reached a level of certain stupidity.A  level that is so remarkable it fails to aknowlwdge the simple and yet barely complex fact of life : if you act like an idiot you'll be treateed like an idiot. or moron depends with the mood.These are just subtle little landmines bursting on the surface though. What is eating me really?

It's   been a month since I had to endure such high levels of self evaluation. I've had to take a long hard look at myelf . Imagine my horror when I discovered that in most cases I had become weak and fickle, indicissive and  was a slight gesture away from being corrupt. I've lost my faith in humanity, it's ambitions, aspirations and ideals. I don't understand why they cry, shed tears for their losses and mimick the  actions of a lifeless pole when in shock. I don't understand why they break down and feel defeated when circumstances have finally proven to be overwhelming. In  my opinion all the actions in which we are part of , all  the dramatic climaxes of our scenic and for the most part "inspiring" lives is  directly influenced by our prior conduct.

Life, as it seems , is only made up of facts.   The facts might be unpleasing and not what you  had hoped  for but they remain exactly that -facts. What makes us different is that  we are further divided into two  groups. One  group of  people who chose to accept these facts and live according to them will live under the constant state of poverty. No matter how hard we try to think otherwise, the facts are thus: we are in a state of poverty, weakness and we lack, not only in ambition and drive but also in desire to change our state.This desire to change our state of affairs brings us to a second class of individuals those wo want to change.Those  who do desire these changes have seen the facts and admitted that they existed, unlike the first group they have a will to move and so they do. by doing so they have decided to  not only have defy  the normal set  of  rules and standards but they've also decided to create a new set of facts.

If, in life, we only find facts, then what place is there for hope, faith, trust and all  other sentiments?

When you trout your stuff on the street for the first time , smooth as a teens comeback lines to her parents . You think to your self how will you manage . How on earth will you ever manage ? Supposed that moment has come . You basicly trembling as you edge closer to that door . Your hands are soaked in sweat and the door knob seems to float further away as you approach it . Then there is that continuose thud in your ear . That's your heart . All the way from your chest , pounding so hard to , hopefully, get the blood to your legs long enough to keep that now aching plastered , insecure twitching smile off the ground . Finally you get there ! To your dismay ,the father is at home and even that smile isn't gonna bring that girl out . Hence you now officially commence Roora . In truth , right now you would love to pass out . They sit you down on that couch and question your qualifications . Interogate your ambitions whilst gently installing a suggestive amount of fear in you . Enough to frighten you to death but not enough to recieve you in the cold , calming hands of the grim reaper and his faithful remedy -death . With not much of a choice you smile , please them with your wit and charisma and pray to any heavenly , if not all heavenly , god -like beigns . Finally the father gets up and walks to bed . The mother follows a minute later and the girl is told to escourt you out . Quick wasn't it ? On your way home , your mind calms you down . You intelect settles your worries aside and your testorone thus deducts the following : the moments you fear the most are what has made you the most . Your efforts to attain any sort of appreciation from mankind has thus left you chasing ambitious plans that no self loving individual would . True strength lay in the eyes of her father , though he brought you down to earth , he also installed fear and a deep respect in you that will protect his daughter . This is how the circle first start. Such a start requires strenght . Any first requires the guts of a warlord . Once perfomed perfectly , your next step should shadow your first . It needs to leave your desires clear . It will be because of that you will wipe your frown . Smile that half smile and insist you want more . From here on out you've achived your true truth . Another first of many .

When you trout your stuff on the street for the first time , smooth as a teens comeback lines to her parents . You think to your self how will you manage . How on earth will you ever manage ? Supposed that moment has come . You basicly trembling as you edge closer to that door . Your hands are soaked in sweat and the door knob seems to float further away as you approach it . Then there is that continuose thud in your ear . That's your heart . All the way from your chest , pounding so hard to , hopefully, get the blood to your legs long enough to keep that now aching plastered , insecure twitching smile off the ground . Finally you get there ! To your dismay ,the father is at home and even that smile isn't gonna bring that girl out . Hence you now officially commence Roora . In truth , right now you would love to pass out . They sit you down on that couch and question your qualifications . Interogate your ambitions whilst gently installing a suggestive amount of fear in you . Enough to frighten you to death but not enough to recieve you in the cold , calming hands of the grim reaper and his faithful remedy -death . With not much of a choice you smile , please them with your wit and charisma and pray to any heavenly , if not all heavenly , god -like beigns . Finally the father gets up and walks to bed . The mother follows a minute later and the girl is told to escourt you out . Quick wasn't it ? On your way home , your mind calms you down . You intelect settles your worries aside and your testorone thus deducts the following : the moments you fear the most are what has made you the most . Your efforts to attain any sort of appreciation from mankind has thus left you chasing ambitious plans that no self loving individual would . True strength lay in the eyes of her father , though he brought you down to earth , he also installed fear and a deep respect in you that will protect his daughter . This is how the circle first start. Such a start requires strenght . Any first requires the guts of a warlord . Once perfomed perfectly , your next step should shadow your first . It needs to leave your desires clear . It will be because of that you will wipe your frown . Smile that half smile and insist you want more . From here on out you've achived your true truth . Another first of many .